Monthly Archives: May 2015

Pessimism

Yesterday I was walking to the bus stop on my way to work and on my way down the road I was telling myself to hurry up, because I ‘just had this feeling’ I was going to miss the bus. I kept thinking I could hear it coming as I edged closer to the bus stop, however, I got to the bus stop and I had not missed the bus.

The bus was at the top of the road – two stops away – when I got to the bus stop.

I don’t know why, but this small, but significant (in my eyes) situation really made me think. I get so worked up about things, thinking I ‘know’ what’s going to happen, thinking I know the answers and how things are going to turn out – which is usually negatively for me – and I keep trying to figure things out or control how things are going to be with my pessimistic mind set.

Just the fact that I didn’t miss this bus made me think; maybe I’m wrong about all the bad things I think I know are going to happen? Maybe things do and will work out, it’s just my mind set that tells me other wise. I am so fixed on thinking I have a gut feeling for things when really, it is like some dark voice inside me that wants me to believe that this gut feeling is real when sometimes, possibly even most times, it is not a gut feeling at all…just this thing deep inside me that I have¬†which makes me think things are never going to work out.

I am not sure if any of that makes much sense, but I hope it will if you feel you can relate. Next time I hope that when an intense negative thought enters my head or yours, we can try and understand that it is only a thought… it is not necessarily reality.